Glimmer

i've found it










now i'm going to kill it. smash it smash it smash it smash it.

shame it. shame on you. shame on me.

it was down there, so deep. just the faintest whisper of a thought.

i found it. i found it and now.



i hate it. i hate it. i love it. i hate it. so much.

nevermind who lost it. i found it. i have to kill it.

without me, it wouldn't die. it would linger. drag on and suffer.

this glimmer of hope. this trace of love.

if i left it alone it would suffer. if i didn't, i couldn't.

it would still be there. suffering. crying. crying out.

it would still be there. sobbing why?

why?


because it found me.


it clung to me. and i to it.

i tried to nurture it.

i thought in me, it would survive.




it wouldn't. it couldn't.

too much. hurts. feels. loves. hates.

it made me. or did i make it.

i have to end it. snuff it out.

if they find it. oh god if they find it.

no no no nonononononononononon on no nonononono nononononoononono.

they can't. they won't.

i'm sorry. they can't.





boots on. leg up.

bite the leather. bring the heel down.

do it. do it. do it. do it. do it. do it. do it. do it. do it. you have to.

goddammit you have to. for us. you have to.

it won't die. i have to kill it.

it was me. it always was me. this is what i am to it.

and it to me.

the glimmer of an eye.

that long ago went blind.