I would never mention anything as trivial as my own birthday if it didn't have a path to a more important Idea. Sitting there amidst a gathering of people that hadn't seen my home in such a while, marveling at the power of it. Like the heathens we are, giving ourselves to each other. I bleed from the mouth with the thought of it. It is a beautiful thing. I wished I had a visual summation of what I am talking about, but nothing could ever do the atmosphere justice. I endure and long to once again join them in celebration. Dwelling in the shadow of something brings the mixed emotions that are so often confused and muddied into a mess of anger and lament. You move away from the mountain, get out from under it's oppressive gaze and it's overbearing nature. You move hundreds of miles away from this force that has made itself a constant in your day to day presence in the world of the living and the dreams of the dead. Yet as far as you run, as much as you would like to think that the mountain shrinking into the distance in your rear view mirror is the last you will see of it, the people around you know. They know your relationship to the mountain. They judge you on how you love the mountain. They hate you because you remind them of the mountain that scorned them.
You plead, you cry, you scream.
I AM NOT THE MOUNTAIN!!
I AM MY OWN FORCE!!
I AM NOT THE MOUNTAIN!!
FIGHT ME BECAUSE YOU HATE ME!!
I AM NOT THE MOUNTAIN!!
KILL ME BECAUSE I INSPIRE THAT BURNING HATRED!!
I AM NOT THE MOUNTAIN!!
LOVE ME BECAUSE OF ME!!
I AM NOT THE MOUNTAIN!!
BE FUCKING HONEST WITH ME!!
I AM NOT THE MOUNTAIN!!
FOR THE LOVE OF CHRIST!!
I AM NOT THE MOUNTAIN!!
I AM NOT THE MOUNTAIN!! I AM NOT THE MOUNTAIN!! I AM NOT THE MOUNTAIN!!
They want you to prove you are not the mountain. They want you to fight the mountain. They want you to forsake the mountain. NO!! I will not. The mountain is me. He is me and I am him. And we are not. So give me your blood and oil. I will give you my sweat and tears. Put a fire unto our flesh. I will die for you. I will fight for all of us. We are all the mountain.
All my blood for the sweetness of their laughter.
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